The Hopi Native selling Barbie dolls out of her trench coat,
It was her trailer.
Rainbow wind-catchers hang over the doorway
And hundreds of feathers are tied with green string and leather to the branches Of the Paloverde tree.
Red sand and dust . . . it's everywhere.
Inside, inside is an even bigger mess.
I can see, practically touch the rotting old futon on the opposite side of the trailer.
Barbies peeking out from every corner like gophers.
Boxes of junk or tins of beads and feathers lay among glue guns like discarded murder weapons on the floor.
She opens a draw, it is full of twigs and pencils.
She opens another, it is full of beads and dirt.
Dusty old appliances,
Heaps of vintage magazines,
And smashed toys lie among the masses.
I ask, "Is this someone's home or a junk yard?"
The air is stiff,
There is nowind,noshade,nospace,noescape.
The tiny trailer seems to shrink as the heat expands.
Sweat.
Salt.
Tears.
"Greta, I don't think we're in New Hampshire anymore."
Based on: Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult
What an amzing setting. I love the green string and red sand. I feel like I'm choking on the dust, and the barbies seem so sad and creepy. I love the vvid contents of the drawers. Then your second stanza makes me feel claustrophobic. It's like a German Expressionist painting.
ReplyDeleteI like how you wrote is this someone home or junkyard? I like it because it does really not sound like home to me. That is what got this a striking because the home has got to be just dirty.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem a lot. It was so descriptive and it really painted a picture of the scene for me. I also thought it was interesting how you ended with a quote. I didn't see that in any of the poems that I read.
ReplyDeleteI like the visual element of this poem. The setting you wrote about with your vivid adjectives reminds me of a town in the Midwest with a population of 9 people. My favorite line was "Boxes of junk or tins of beads and feathers lay among glue guns like discarded murder weapons on the floor." The simile was great and showed your point perfectly. It was exactly like a junkyard. Great writing!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you described the feelings in the second stanza. It sounds like a place that nobody would want to be. great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like the second stanza, especially your creative spacing (or lack there of) and breakup of lines! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe first stanza is very descriptive and you almost feel like your right there in the trailer. I also really liked how the second stanza the trailer starts to shrink and in a way when you make the sentecnes one words its almost like it is shrinking.
ReplyDeleteI love the details that you put into this poem. I can visualize the mess that this place is in and i can feel the character's yearning to get out of this place. But one of your lines "there is nowind,noshade,nospace,noescape," expresses that there is no way out through the hopelessness of the character.
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